Pregnancy

Well...I've been so SURE that since I take Prevacid regularly for my reflux that I would NOT have the awful indigestion caused by pregnancy. It turns out that I was WRONG - unfortunately. Last night I had the pleasure of experiencing it. I had it with both of my boys so I'd hate for Mariah to feel left out! The good news is that I'm pretty sure I had it with the boys much earlier in the pregnancy so maybe the Prevacid helped delay it some.

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Is there a such thing as getting through your entire pregnancy without clothing issues??? I bought very early on in my pregnancy what I thought would be plenty of maternity clothes and a good selection of sizes. I bought them from a girl who posted them on Craig's list. (see this post) She had her baby in early May last year so the seasons match up pretty well with what I needed. So, now I've outgrown the size medium items. She had a few size large items and some extra large items. The large is really what I need right now but there really doesn't seem to be enough for me to get through the week. The ex-larges are really too big on me and make me look foolish. Not to mention that maternity pants just don't stay up well. I'm so tired of pulling my pants up and readjusting them every little bit. So, now I'm stuck with either trying to deal with what I have or going out and buying a few more items that may or may not fit for the entire next 10 weeks. I hate to have to buy something that I can only use for a couple of weeks.

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I love being pregnant. I love the thought of this beautiful baby, God's creation, being inside of me growing. I am fascinated by the growth and development of the baby. Having seen the 3d ultrasound, I'm in awe of how much I could see what she was doing and what she looks like. I love to feel her move inside of me. I love it when I look down and my stomach is an unusual shape because of the way she is laying inside of me - mostly in a ball, I think. I am trying to enjoy and appreciate every moment that she is inside of me since I know that I will most likely not be having any other children. However, even though I love it and am trying to enjoy every minute of it, I also am getting anxious and can't wait to see her and get to hold her. I'm also to the point where I get frustrated because I can't move around and be as active and as productive as I'm used to being and that is frustrating to me. Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to rush things along because although I want to see her, I'm not really looking too forward to the lack of sleep that I know is to come. I remember so well the feeling that I would get with the boys at about 7 or 8 at night - the feeling of "I'm so tired and I want to go to bed and sleep all night but I know that will not be happening" feeling. Hey, maybe I'm wrong, though - maybe she's going to be a good sleeper. I'm also anxious about the breastfeeding experience. I am a mother that wants to breastfeed her babies SO much. With Nolan I made it about 9 months and with Elijah I think we made it 6 or 7 months but we had SO many issues. I hope and pray that Mariah is going to be a champion breastfeeder - that she will be a natural at it and that we will have minimal, if any, difficulties. I can't tell you how many tears I shed over Nolan and Elijah's breastfeeding issues - I truly think it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. We will get through it though - even if it is challenging and even if it doesn't go as well as I won't I know that it won't be the end of the world (keep telling yourself that Kathy!) I pray that in the next ~10 weeks that I will become the mother that I am supposed to be for Mariah and that I will be able to be emotionally intact!! (I'll save that story for another day!)